So one of my friends, in a very general  kinda way asked a group of us… “what do you do for your  morning facial regimen?”  She was being so sincere too, she had no idea I have surgery today,  so no coffee for me grrrr… and it’s 5:00 am. I just couldn’t resist, so this is what I wrote.

Well first after I peel my crunchy old pillowcase off my face and wipe the dried drool off with the pillowcase. I usually go into the bathroom, sometimes I use a washcloth but usually, I just use the toilet bowl scrubber because I got to start with something really serious to get this drool off.  I don’t have any sandpaper handy useally. but I got to get this stuff offusually. Or it will likelyexplode a wrinkle from its sheer weight. . Oh by the way the toilet bowl scrubber??? Well it’s never been used on the toilet just my face blah hahaha or has it? Anyways after that,  I put on a rich refreshing cleanser and I gently apply it to my face with very warm water and use my ring fingers to rub it in small circular motions. Then I rinse it off, sometimes I do and mostly don’t use one of those toners. I’ve never seen any results for myself that prove that using tones anything for me. Then I put a mask on, I have several different kinds but I don’t like the ones that you have to peel off or lay there and look like the Chainsaw Murder you know those masks that you lay across your face??? They just creep me out so I use an actual mask, let it dry and thenn I wash it off. I like to do that for a little extra tightening of the pores and moisturizing. Finally when it’s all cracked and dried before I wash it off I generally will go from room to room and wake up whoever’s sleeping with this crap on my face and when I’m bored with that I go back into the bathroom and wash it off. Now of course moisturizer is the next logical step and that’s what I take is the next logical step however there’s more but I’m going to take that to the Grave I’m not telling you that part because it’s a secret and it’s how I keep my old lady wrinkled skin looking like old lady wrinkled skin. And I suppose I probably tell you this lovely last potion for $9.95 and say wait there’s more you can get two for the price of one and give you a BOGO but the reality is I’m not telling you, I’m not for sale and I like having old lady wrinkly skin. Okay that part’s a lie but it’s a better belief system than I should go get plastic surgery today because I can’t afford that so I’ll keep my belief system and my weird ways of doing things and have a lot of fun while I do it and that is all I’m going to say goodbye for now.

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